New Thing #364: Watch Star Wars with my Daughter

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I think that every geek dad eagerly awaits the day that he’s able to watch the original Star Wars with his kid for the first time. 

For nearly the past five years I’ve been preconditioning my daughter for just such an occasion. So today (with a big bowl of popcorn as bait), Shauna, Audrey and I watched Episode IV together. And although she might not have seemed as excited on the video, she really liked it. Especially the droids.

We shielded her eyes from the screen during the scary bits: Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru’s burnt corpses, the interrogation droid, and worst of all the awful sequence that Lucas stuck in with Jabba in Mos Eisley.

Also, we were sure to explain that Han shot first, because if nothing else, we’re responsible parents.

SPOILER ALERT IN INVISITEXT BELOW:
Now I just can’t wait to see her reaction when we watch Empire and Vader tells Luke he’s his father. That’s going to be amazing. I know everyone already knows that, but I still detest spoilers enough to not take the chance.

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New Thing #329: Star Wars Uncut

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I heard about Star Wars Uncut a few years ago, but never realized until now that it actually got produced, or more importantly, released for free on the internet.

The concept is simple, recreate the entire Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope in fifteen second clips using whatever means possible. Most are crude but creative, often funny and sometimes inspired. A lot of it comes off as a vintage Doctor Who episode, or childhood movie project. And there’s a lot of bearded Leias. A lot.

Clocking in at just over two hours you’d think that the visual cocophany of that many cuts would be overwhelming, but somehow it works. I suspect it’s because the original film is so ingrained into my memory that it was liking watching an overlay to the real thing. John Williams’ score is in place too which helps to meld the clips together even more. 

I’m really glad I got to finally see this, and if they’re ever remaking The Empire Strikes Back I’m definitely getting in on that action. 

New Thing #301: The Five Doctors

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Every Christmas Eve my wife and I curl up in front of the television to watch some sort of terrible piece of entertainment. It all started with a bootlegged version of The Star Wars Holiday Special some years ago and, well, has only gotten better from there.

This year I wanted to see The Five Doctors, a Doctor Who special from the 80s that (sort of) reunites five incarnations of the Doctor into one storyline. I say sort of because Tom Baker makes about a two minute appearance somewhere near the start and a two second one at the end.

And although not nearly as bad as watcing Bea Arthur serenade an alien in a Star Wars cantina, it was still pretty aweful. 

 

New Thing #266: The Lego Store

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To say that I loved Lego as a kid might be one of the biggest understatements ever made. There was only one person in the world who loved them more, and that was my dad.

So today when were walking through Fairview Mall on important pants buying business I let out an audible gasp when I passed The Lego Store.

I had no idea that this Mecca to the six the sided brick existed, let alone in this neck of the woods.

The store is just overwhelming, and teaming with customers and Lego Experts alike. If it weren’t for the primary colours everywhere you’d swear you were in an Apple store

The walls are neatly stacked with all types of Lego sets from the traditional castles, to modern works of architecture and robots. George Lucas seems to be financing his next Star Wars production entirely on the basis of Lego sets alone. The 3,104 piece Imperial Star Destroyer alone is $500 (if anyone is looking for Christmas gift ideas for me this year).

There’s a wall devoted to buying bricks piece meal which would have been a fantastic resource when I was kid. I’d never be stuck three-quarters of the way through a giant ship build only to find that I didn’t have one of those little blue three bangers.

Plus, you can mix and match heads, bodies, hair, legs and accessories to make your own custom Lego guy.

Oh, and Audrey thought it was pretty cool too.

 

New Thing #111: Slash Fiction

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I heard of about slash fiction years ago: well known fictional characters having romantic interludes together that are in no way endorsed by their creators. Oh, and they’re always gay. 

I could have gone with some Batman and Robin or Luke and Han, but I decided to stick to the classics and read “Spock’s Hot Date”. In some round about way involving an alien planet, quesadillas and horseback riding, Kirk and Spock end up in the shower together.

Here’s an excerpt:

Jim’s chest heaved–partially from the increased heart rate associated with orgasm, partially from disappointed passion. “Then wash me, dammit, so I can hold you, you–wonderful being.”

This is particularly bad, even for fan fiction, yet absolutely entertaining. Although it did raise an interesting question about what happens when someone orgasms during a mind meld. Now, time to see if Riker ever got lucky with Picard! Oh wait, that already exists on Youtube.

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