Every year I look forward to The Oscars as a child looks forward to an abusive parent suddenly showing up at their piano recital. But every year I get burned so, so much.
But this year my wife suggested we watch The Golden Globe Awards, and I realized that I’ve never actually done that. And despite what everyone on Twitter seemed to think tonight, I found it rather enjoyable.
Unlike their big brother, The Golden Globe Awards don’t mire themselves in endless tributes, dance numbers and ridiculous set ups. Instead they fill everyone up with booze and give them a mic for two minutes.
It’s snappy, fun and entertaining and if I had one complaint it’s that Ricky Gervais was only on for a total of, what seemed, seven minutes. But then again, he probably got paid a shit-ton of money to work for those seven minutes, so bravo Ricky.
Seriously folks, watch as they show the break-glass-in-case-of-emergency box containing Billy Crystal later this year and remember how fun tonight was. (Break-glass-incase-of-emergency prediction courtesy of Shauna Curtis…I give it even odds of happening.)
As an added bonus, we let Audrey stay up to watch the first half hour to see all the pretty dresses. You can get your daughter to play with all the dinosuars and robots in the world, but sequins seem to trump everything.